I can’t believe it’s 2018 already. It felt like the year went by so fast but looking back, I actually got a lot of things done and a lot of things happened.
It’s a bit fitting that I mentioned in 2016’s Year in Review that it’s been one giant roller coaster ride. I was hoping that 2017 would be less turbulent but if anything it was even more nasty haha. Honestly, breaking down your life by the calendar year is a bit weird to begin with because your life doesn’t abide by that, so it makes sense that the first bit of 2017 felt incredibly like 2016.
2017 started in the lab. Which feels really weird to say since that already feels like a lifetime ago. At that point, I was just finishing up some more work related to an older project and looking forward to starting my thesis project. It was a pretty rough way to start the year since that definitely wasn’t fun.
But it soon became fun though. Me and my girlfriend decided to go to Taiwan for a short vacation which was really nice. I’ve always wanted to visit Taiwan and it seemed like the ideal place for a short trip to just kinda unwind and get away from Korea. That was a nice trip. We even had a chance to meet up with a friend of ours and another friend of mine from Hong Kong.
After getting back to Korea the lab took a trip out to Gangwon-do again for HCI Korea 2017, which, similar to our trip in 2016, meant that I got to go skiing again. Unfortunately though, I didn’t win any money at the casino this time.
The trip to Taiwan and Gangwon-do was really awesome because it was right before starting my thesis project. So once I got back into the lab I was ready to work. Now, for the most part I enjoyed working on developing my actual thesis project, but I wasn’t a big fan of the whole thesis writing and presenting part of it.
I wouldn’t say it was difficult but the entire process was overly stressful. Looking back, it almost seems like so much of that was artificial pressure that really wasn’t needed. I tried to take breaks every once and a while though, and one of those breaks was to the first and only concert I went to in 2017, Crystal Lake. I liked the band before I saw them in concert and seeing them live only made me like them even more. I’m really glad I went because it was a great show.
Once my thesis started to wrap up, a lot of my stress dealing with getting my thesis done started to get replaced by the stress of graduating. It was almost a perfect cross-fade between the two levels of stress so I felt like I was pretty much at the same level the entire time, just thinking about different things.
On one hand I was essentially cruising through the rest of the lab stuff. Our lab started a partnership with a lab from a school in Japan and not only did they have a chance to come visit us, but we also had a chance to go visit their school in Nara. This coincided with a small international conference as well which had me present my thesis work for the first time outside our school department, which was nice.
But obviously the point of the trip for me wasn’t really to do any of that but really to enjoy my time in Japan. Not only did I go to Nara but I also had the opportunity to go check out Osaka as well, which was really nice. There’s nothing like being fully funded to travel.
Once I got back to Korea from Japan, I just kept the travel ball going. I essentially just handed in my thesis and a week later went on another big trip as a gift to myself for finishing my master’s. That was a really awesome trip and got me to Russia (St. Petersburg and Moscow), Berlin, Prague, and Vienna. I even had a chance to stop by Dubai for a couple hours which was a pretty nice bonus.
That trip was just outright amazing and unforgettable. Europe is awesome, especially after being in Asia for so long. I’m really glad I got to go to all of those places and see so much, especially Russia. In all my travels that was the first country that required me to get a visa to visit, and the application process was an experience of itself. And of course, the country was really unique and cool too.
It was a pretty jam packed vacation and soon enough I was back in Korea. The month between the end of July and end of August was actually really tough. Even after going through all of the random crap dealing with school and my thesis earlier in the year, it turned out the hardest part of the year was actually the month where I wasn’t doing anything.
The Korean government gave me a one way flight back home so I knew I had a month left in Korea and would be leaving at the end of August. I had no job lined up so I figured I could look for jobs within Korea for that month and maybe get something. If I got a job in Korea, I’d go back to Korea after a brief visit to Canada. If I didn’t get a job, well, I’d just go and stay home.
It was a really bittersweet month.
Before starting my studies at KAIST, every Korean I met was always like “Oh, you’re studying at KAIST? You must be a genius. You’ll have no problems finding a job”. Now I try not to let things get to my head like that, but there was a bit of hope you know? I didn’t really want to work and live in Korea, but I really wanted to try to keep my existing life intact.
But alas, it just wasn’t to be. Job applications went nowhere, interviews were tough, and visas weren’t being sponsored. The end result was that I just didn’t see a future for myself in Korea.
On one hand I was excited to go home, but on the other hand I didn’t want to leave my life in Korea. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no love for the country or it’s people. But that was my life for three years. I settled down pretty well, had a life of my own, friends to hang out with, and generally knew what I was doing.
Just giving that all up and going home hurt.
I don’t normally have anxiety or panic attacks, but I had a pretty major freak out the morning of my flight home. I stayed up all night packing and was quickly running of time and I just couldn’t seem to pack all the remaining stuff and it just felt like everything I did was causing myself both physical and psychological pain. It felt like my world actually was ending and I was making a decision I’d regret immensely.
It wasn’t very fun.
That was four months ago.
Since then I’ve settled back into a life here in Canada and everything has been a giant blur. I have a job now. I get to see my family and old friends whenever I want. I get to experience a proper winter again. And I even just got laser eye surgery so I don’t have to deal with glasses and contacts anymore. For the most part life is great.
Or at least it feels like it should be.
I didn’t think reverse culture shock would affect me that much, but I have to say that it’s still an ongoing struggle. There’s some sort of balance between getting back to the life I once had and starting a new life, and I haven’t seem to have found it yet.
2017 is definitely defined by the fact that I came home. I can’t even properly put into words how tough a decision that was for me.
There’s not doubt in my mind that 2017 was by far the most emotionally and psychologically stressful year of my life. There isn’t a single day that passes where I don’t think about my life in Korea and miss everyone associated with that life. 2018 is gonna have a hell of a hard time trying to heal this hole in my heart.
But I’m hopeful.
2017 Achievements and Statistics
- 9 countries (Taiwan, Japan, United Arab Emirates, Russia, Germany, Czechia, Austria, South Korea, Canada).
- 2 academic publications (TEI 2018, AH 2018)
- 7 platinum trophies (Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep, Kingdom Hearts 3DS, Infamous Second Son, Infamous First Light, World of Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XV, Mirror’s Edge Catalyst)
- Master’s of Science in Industrial Design
- Full-time employment secured